If you are rejected by the choice of your love life or your choice for the love of your life you have made a free will act and this is the essence of being human, not the choice of a love of your life but the ability to freely choose at all.
If the love choice does not reciprocate, and instead chooses elsewise then you have witnessed the essence of that lover: exercising the freedom to choose.
Being human does not mean being a genius and being human does not mean being rational. Being human entails or requires the ability to effect choices, to make choices, to make decisions, to do things that are not programmed in, to be perhaps and usually unaware of the origins of the desire for the choice but the choice freely made, right, wrong, self destructive, silly, contrary, or whatever.
If you want a mindless and choice free entity to use as a lust object then get a dog. Animals have no free will and do not make choices. We can not “allow” them to make choices nor expect them to as they have no self awareness so there is no “them” there to make a choice. We make them into pets and we train them to do as we want. If they do not like what we do to them it is the nervous system reacting not “them”. That is why some animals are not trainable for pets and are not amenable as a substitute for human affection and lust. At least some dogs are so trainable.
If the human object of your lust and, or, or love does not reciprocate and chooses elsewise you should let them be free to exercise that choice, even if you are sent from heaven as their personal love and, or, or lust object. You should get happy about their exercise of freedom to choose even if their choice is self destructive.
People must be free to fail else they learn nothing. People must be free to fail even self destructively or we shall have no lessons to learn from. If all was a rose garden and free of pain and suffering we would be unable to learn anything.
When someone goes out into the middle of a field during a storm and gets hit by lightning we should in addition to whatever else we do and say declare that they set a lesson for us to learn from and that they did us a service by giving an example of what we could then understand as a wrong action and then understand as a bad choice.
This is also why we must just sit back and allow a nation to choose even bad and self destructive actions. Otherwise our notion of freedom is not one of allowing and encouraging freedom but allowing only what WE want as if that other nation is our child. If a nation chooses to hurt us and, or, or our interests then we must defend ourselves and our interests and this is why war can be a necessary and even a very good thing. If the other nation chooses to walk into the storm unprotected, so to speak, at their own risk, then so be it. We are not the parents except of our own children and only as long as they are children. A free nation must suffer the fate of their failure and even their self destructive failure. We might argue with them over their “stupidity” as we might even rightly call it. We cannot say “Oh! But your people will suffer because of the leadership’s bad choices!” and intervene on behalf of those people FOR THEY ARE NOT OUR PEOPLE. We must let every nation learn the lessons of their failures even if we are the ones left doing the learning.